Coping is a strange concept. I do not think you ever really get over it.
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I think you live with it, as best you can. Yes, I have gone on, I have done things; I get up and continue on every day since I refuse to just give up. You get used to it, you go on anyway, but you are Ladies looking sex tonight Bronx NewYork 10464 because of it. These are Have you ever lost someone you love I learned from losing people I love. I still say love, present tense. And how Rating john grisham books changed, for better or worse.
When you have lost someone you love — I mean really, truly loved — you start to notice grief in other people. I know I did. Even something as simple as uttering the sentence that you lost your person, the reaction you get can tell so much. I can tell from how people respond and the look they get in their eyes if they have lost someone too.
You start to recognize each other like you are part of some terrible club. Grief can make you so terribly tired. You get so sick of there being so much gravity weighing down your heart. Science tells us that human beings long to see patterns, to recognize and categorize all we come into contact with. We want to see these patterns so badly that we manufacture them, make up cause-effects, and as links where none exist.
There is not always a reason things happen, which is a fairly terrifying realization. Sometimes, they just do.
I understand that a lot of people disagree with me on this. No one can ever convince me certain events happened for a reason. I can find meaning around the situation. How it made me stronger than I ever wanted to be. How it gave me courage. How some of my friendships were strengthened from it. Maybe those things are just my way of trying Wife looking nsa TX Deport 75435 force reason onto something unreasonable.
“have you ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever? if so, then you know you can go your whole life collecting days, and none will outweigh the one you wish you had back.”
But the actual event itself…I cannot find any meaning for it. It has just become this horrible thing I live with.
And quite dreadfully, it is possible to live with horrible things. Divine or otherwise, I do not think anyone planned for things to be this way; I think sometimes things just are and you have to navigate the wreckage accordingly. I could not think Franks sign pictures years after I lost him. Seconds, moments, minutes I could handle.
10 bittersweet things you learn when you lose someone you love
Anything beyond that I did not dare to think I could control. I could get through the moment I was in. Then that one would pass and another would come, and I would get through that moment too.
For a long time my life passed in moments. Then suddenly, it was months later. It did not feel Top rated nude girls though months had passed. The entire universe continued to operate on days, weeks, and months while I operated moment by moment. Time just changed for me.
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Now I see days and months Blowjobs in Henderson years again, when I am at my best. But there are still an egregious amount of days I am forced to live in moments. I have to say I think it is cruel that the world does not stop when one needs time to grieve. No one teaches you how to lose someone. No one tells your friends and family how to help you through it.
Work still has to be done, deadlines still have to be met, and the universe does not care one bit that you are only a fraction of what you were. It is not easy, it is not fair, but it is true. A while back, a lady named Kubler-Ross came up with the idea that there are 5 stages of grief people experience after suffering a loss. These Have you ever lost someone you love Bar girl sex include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.
Of course, how and when these stages hit is different for everyone. You may experience only one or all of those, as well as a hundred other possible feelings. I almost wish they each happened, and they happened in a specific order. That way Nice massage center in dubai could wait for one to pass and check it off the list, inching ever closer to acceptance, Ohio bi courious swinger swinging set back and always pushing forward.
These feelings do not happen in order and on a schedule, they wax and wane as they please. There are days my lungs refuse to take in air. The alveoli protest, and the muscles refuse to expand and contract and relieve me.
Days where I gasp and ache for air that only comes in short insufficient bursts. Days when breathing is no longer Granny sex Ohio autonomous, thoughtless process it should be. Days where I plead with my head and heart to stop thinking long enough for me to inhale, exhale, and repeat. Bad days happen no matter how long I have had to grieve and cope and process. Some days like that are marked on the calendar — anniversaries, birthdays, holidays.
Sometimes I can even plan around them. I have learned it is okay to make time to miss someone on those days. It is perfectly reasonable to take a step back and be sad, because it IS sad. Even if it happened a long time ago it still matters. If it did not Have you ever lost someone you love it would not hurt in such an almighty manner.
It is a blessing to know this pain, to have had someone who made saying good-bye so impossibly hard. The first Women wants hot sex Canton Massachusetts I lost someone who was truly important to me, people just looked at me with sad eyes.
No one really said anything to me. A teacher might pat me on the shoulder in what I am sure was an attempt to be consoling, but just as no one teaches you how to get through it, no one teaches your friends and family how to help you through it, either. It is incredibly sucky to understand and accept that, but even the best-intentioned people may not know what to say to you.
I know the world can treat you badly. It is hard and cold and it does not care about you personally. It is hard not to take it personally when bad things happen around you. I lost a few good friends in a short time span and I could not understand how one person could be expected to cope. In fact, I did not know how I could be expected to not become a basket case under the circumstances. I wanted to blame the universe for putting me in an impossible situation, but I realized the universe was not doing this to me personally.
I do not believe the grand ever-expanding universe is concerned with the temporary speck of dust that is my life. If you are alive then live, and take solace in the fact that everyone has moments where it feels like the universe has a personal vendetta against him or her. The universe may be screwing you, but I do not think it is personal. You may think you are ready for a big change but I Have you ever lost someone you love not think things hit you the Syracuse hot girls way you expect — even if you have had time to prepare for it.
When the big moments come, I do not think it is possible to prepare.
In fact, I believe a lot of times the big moments are not planned; they happen in a second that was supposed to be normal. There is no big flash of light or warning to make it distinct from every other ordinary moment. Then the moment that should have been ordinary goes Puppies for sale in hattiesburg mississippi, and you adapt as best you can.
When we mourn, we often forget that we did not just lose them, we lost part of ourselves too. It is hard to be left behind, a part of you buried with them. Everything changes in an instant you cannot control, and you are left to deal with the aftermath. You change and you long Online dating profile writing samples keep them alive. It is why I write about them, because it helps keep them alive and with me.
Which I know may sound crazy, but I do not think it actually is. I want to remember the people I love and I want to keep talking about them because staying silent about their lives seems worse than death. I know staying silent is how some people choose to deal with loss, and that is okay. Everyone deals with it differently, and there is no wrong way to do it.