If you are in a relationship with someone who yells at you, berates you, overreacts to an underwhelming situation, or makes you walk on egg shells so that you keep quiet, then you are with a bully whose goal is to have power over you. These bullies are everywhere Dating sites india uk in your office, school, and even in your own home.
Only YOU can change. Yet nothing has worked so far, so you feel even more powerless.
If you leave your spouse, some consequences are you being alone, becoming financially independent, being a single parent, or having less money. All of these are extremely daunting, but they are manageable.
Have you given up all your power in your partnership? this is how you’re going to take it back.
However, if you lack the courage to face these, then you will remain powerless. Same goes for that bully boss. Should you stand up for yourself, you could potentially get fired, demoted, treated worse than before, lose your paycheck, etc.
Having power means having boundaries, or rules. Rules have consequences, should you break them. Next, write down the consequences to each rule.
Here's how to have the upper hand in a relationship.
It may mean you have to walk away and not engage in an argument. Or it could be bigger, where you have to exit the relationship entirely or finally quit your job.
Then, create several plans based on the consequence. If you choose to separate, where can you stay on the short term?
Tell the truth
How much money do you need to live for 6 months? If people negatively react to your decision, what is your plan for responding to them?
When you have a plan, you have power. You no longer fear the consequences because you have a plan.
Sure, the plan itself might be scary and unfamiliar, but you will no longer feel paralyzed the next time someone bullies you. But what happens when you really want to save the relationship? Well, Pomsky puppies for sale minnesota that you will not change your bully, all you can do is change yourself.
The next conflict that comes along, express your rule to the person. Hopefully you will see a shift in power, and you get what you want.
Now you walk away, and you do what YOU require, not them. If you are exercising your truth, then those consequences, as short term as they are, will ultimately set you free.
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